


Fly with the Red Wings

by thebluerain



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Emo, Gen, Levi's POV, but with a soft ending, in short this is about levi telling his own feeling to erwin, this is like a night before ch 112, yes yes im still so emo over that chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 19:49:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16919277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebluerain/pseuds/thebluerain
Summary: FlyAnd I will fulfill your dreamShouldering the pain that slowly kills you





	Fly with the Red Wings

**Fly with the Red Wings**

 

 

Human was bound with regrets, the suffocated feeling of knowing that they had failed to obtain, to protect, or to fulfill something.  The feeling that never stopped havocking the hearts, leaving some vulnerability to the souls. What regret did human live through their lives? The mistakes, or just the chances that they weren’t able to grasp, or was it the vow they didn’t get to keep? Human lived through all the regrets they have gone, making the mistakes to trust, getting betrayed, and being left alone _. Human wasn’t free from the regret._

 

The darkness veiled the night sky, revealing the dimmer constellation painted from the galaxy. Levi was looking at the sombre firmament, the gaze of his black orbs was inexplicable. Hiding the storm of emotion that was bursting within his body. The night was same, it stayed the same, the chills that it brought, or the loneliness that came along. But why did his heart feel so pained in this tranquillity? As if, he was afraid of getting swallowed by this silence. As if, there was nothing to fill his mind but regret that slowly devoured his sanity. Was it that before, the one that kept him going? The reason why he was willing to go this far? Becoming a hero for the sake of humanity? He didn’t understand. Or was it because he just wanted to help _him_ to go forward? Ascending the dream of the man that taught him the reason to fight for this world and when that dream ended, what should he do afterwards? Lingering in the world, without the light to keep him shine.

 

What regrets he had in life? There were _many_ , so many of them that he didn’t dare to list. Losing the members of his squad one by one right in front of his eyes, unable do anything to stop or to save. His inner heart knew, that was the price for everything. But the thing he called _price_ was still weighing, burdening his heart with the feeling of getting stuffed. He was nearly choked to death. And after everything, it was him losing the biggest part of his life.

 

He thought, telling the other to give up on his dream and die was the best choice. It was the best, probably, to free him from this endless inferno. To give him a place, at least, that was not full of corpse and blood. It was the best choice to let him go and for him to take a vow of shouldering everything. Bringing the pain and wound that covered his soul, promising to fulfill each of his unfulfilled desires, and presenting the answer to his unwavering question. Yet, his death slapped the reality so hard. It made everything become so difficult to carry because every time he set his eyes to look forward, the figure of a tall blond man wasn’t there anymore. The only trace he left was his shadow and the lingering of his icy gaze, reflected in the color of the blue sky.

 

Was his death worth to sacrifice? He wanted to say yes, but the situation was astray. Everything came out of hand, leading human to get lost in their own ways. Deaths. Blood. Corpses. They were pilling everywhere, becoming higher and higher, and it made him sick.

 

Where did everything start to go wrong? Perhaps from the very start, that human couldn’t stop making mistakes. He was devoted to that one man, people could call it obsession running through his veins, his wildness to obey only to one person, the instinct of an Ackerman. Was it true? Probably, but all he knew, he wasn’t the slave of that person. Maybe, he was the slave of his own feeling to that person. The feeling that neither was agape nor eros, it was not selfless nor selfish. It was just his own feeling, manifesting in a form of what he didn’t understand. The feeling he never tasted or felt in his entire life, but it was just there one day. He wished, he could be more honest with the flowing of emotion in his heart. But what did he expect of being honest when this world held nothing but dishonest?  So, as the time passed by, as his feeling grew bigger, rooting in the deepest of his soul, as he watched that man got stumbled over his own dream and the expectation of humanity.

 

Did he regret to let him die? Yes. It was painful, wrecking his inside, crushing everything until he went numb. His death brought so many confusions. _If he was alive, everything wouldn’t turn this way_. But, he was glad at the same time, to let him stop seeing this more fucked up world. Even though, it meant, leaving him alone in this apocalypse.

 

Letting him go, was not the best choice for humanity. For them to lose the claw to destroy the nemesis. He knew that. That man was the devil, becoming one so the other wouldn’t need to be. The player who had the rights to command all of his pawns to move. He was also one of his so many pawns, the most fierce one. So, was this choice just his selfishness only? He couldn’t answer that. He just wanted to give him a peaceful death, not because that man was a coward or he was weak. But because he always believed, he had fought for long enough, he had lost enough, he had suffered and to set him free before he lost his true face was what that blonde deserved the most. And it was only him, who could give him the award. _You have done well._

 

He was really the slave of his own feeling, right? Yes. The feeling that made him waver most of the time. It caused his heart to ache, to throb some painful emotion and it caused him feel so stuffed. The feeling he understood long afterwards, it was a little cheesy thing called love. An expensive word to exist in his dirty life or even in this muddy world. A place where love was equal to weakness and it was true, because his feeling for that man was his weakness. But still, he wished for saying that word. To make sure, at least, he knew, he could learn something as humanity as love. Could he perhaps be given a second chance? So, he could say that word to that person when he was still breathing. Not only whispering to the dead body, the word of “ _I love you_ ”. As weak as that word would be.

 

The sun was soaring high, revealing the tangerine of a fresh new day. A new day to hope that the humanity would be saved soon. But it didn’t change the suffocated feeling of being trapped within the walls. Not knowing the truth and only wishing to keep on surviving, until the day the light came out and unravel everything, to finally put an end to these hellish days.

 

“Captain?” He turned his back, three people were coming, ready to make a report. He looked beneath from where he was standing, a beard man was already reading a book in front of a small tent.

 

 

 

“It took so long, Erwin, I think I’m finally going to fulfill the vow I made to you that day. Your death has meaning, at last I’ll be able to prove it.”  

 

* * *

 

 

_Fly_

_Because letting you go is my salvation_

_Spread your wings_

_And heaven will forgive_

_For the carmine tainting your white feathers_

_And the blood staining all over your body_

_I will wash them for you_

_In exchange for everything_

_Fly_

_For the wings of freedom that embedded us_

_The reason of lives, we ought to carry_

_If yours can’t bring you any higher_

_I will rip mine_

_To ascend you to the Elysium_

_Fly_

_And I will fulfill your dream_

_Shouldering the pain that slowly kills you_

_And if one day_

_This hell ends_

_I will dig my deathbed right beside you_

_Presenting the answer of your unwavering question_

_And tell you_

_“That’s the price of what you have sacrificed”_

_For the wounds that hurt you_

_And the things you have lost_

_The sufferings I know_

_Running through your veins_

_Leaving you suffocated_

_With the feeling of guilt_

_So_

_Let’s just fly away, my dear_

 

* * *

**[Epilogue]**

“Huh, you are up, Levi?” His voice came a little bit hoarse, the azure irises were slowly opening, staring with a firm gaze but full of affection.

 

“Your class starts at noon, right?” The fringe of his blond hair fell down to his face, covering one of his eyes. The ray of the sunlight filtered through the gap of the curtain, bathing on his figure. His golden hair shone brighter and Levi could see the reflection of his face in those clear blue orbs.  

 

“Have a nightmare?” He asked again, now ruffling Levi’s black hair. The smaller man shook his head, “Just remembering something from the past.” He answered, still not looking away at those eyes. Drowning himself to the serene of the ocean that man brought to him.

 

“I see. Just sleep again then.” He didn’t wait for the answer, already bringing the other body into his embrace, caressing his back slowly, as if, it was the silence words for _“Don’t worry I’m here_ ”. Levi closed his eyes, feeling the warmth that transmitted from the other’s skin to his own, listening to the steady pace of his heartbeat, and inhaling the smell of citrus from his body. It felt so real, of course, because he was real here beside him. A surge of emotion was about to explode, Levi snuggled his head to rest on the other’s chest, tightening the hug of his big body, afraid that the other would slip away.

 

“Hey, Erwin.” He called. The blonde only let a “hmm” voice, still caressing his back.

 

“I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> helloo, im not a good writer but i hope someone will like this fic! i have an exam tomorrow but here i am writing a fic instead :') OH AND GUESS WHAT, those italic poem ish words about fly thingy is actually a long ass poem that i wrote one day before ch 112 out. BRUH THE EMOTION THAT I GET I LOVE ERURI SO MUCH OMG CAN THEY BE HAPPY PLS
> 
> andddd, english is not my first language, i know i lack so much. you can tell me! thank you so much <3


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